A weird guy just sent me an e-mail.

[Snuka7]

This morning I woke up, checked my e-mail and got this. Who the heck to you think would send e-mails about Brawl? Sorry if it is you.

Hi,
I have some news to share with you about Super Smash Bros. Brawl. You are probably wondering why I have chosen you. Well I have seen your interest in Brawl and I have a source that tells me some interesting things that I will be glad to share with you. Though there are some rules as stated here:
1. Please do not share my e-mail address with anybody.
2. It is up to you if you want to share this with your fellow friends.
Now here is some of the information. I won’t tell you everything, but I will share little bits and pieces that I think you will be interested in. Everybody has been talking about Captain Olimar, well he is in as a playable character. He doesn’t really do the fighting himself (like Pokémon Trainer) so he uses his Pikman. Though he doesn’t either stand in the background like Pokémon Trainer. His final smash…well I won’t tell you that now. Krystal is in as well as Wolf. Wolf is actually very different to Fox. He is a little slower but my source says more powerful. Krystal uses her staff that is pretty cool to use as my source says. That is all for characters, for now.
Subspace Emissary should be called a story mode because it indeed takes 10 hours to complete. There have been rumours of every playable character having a part in Subspace Emissary, well those rumours are correct. Every playable character indeed has a part in Subspace Emissary. What happens is when it comes to a part where a character is needed in the storyline you will need to save, unlock that character and then go back to Subspace Emissary and continue on. Though, most characters will be unlocked in Subspace Emissary anyway. With Boss Characters, here are a couple that are confirmed by my source. Ridley, Wolf, King K Rool and Medusa. My source also stated that one of those four will be playable. Most likely Ridley. But I don’t know.
As Sakurai stated, some characters from Melee will be removed. Including, Dr. Mario, Pichu, Roy, Mewtwo and Falco. Send me any questions if you want to know anymore. As I said though I won’t answer every single thing.

So do you think this is true? I don’t know. What should I say in reply?

[Manspeed]

Ask why the hell he you that email and not any of us.

[Spud]

Eh.. Mostly this guys saying things we already suspect, one major flaw

Krystal is in....some characters from Melee will be removed. Including... [sic] ...Falco

It just doesn't make since. Either way no one would send you leaked information except that they suspect that you would spread it to others as you have. Don't reply.

Words of Wisdom:

admin said:

This is ludicrous. How many of these idiots must we provide with their 15 minutes of fame?

[Dances in Undergarments]

spud said:

Eh.. Mostly this guys saying things we already suspect, one major flaw

Krystal is in....some characters from Melee will be removed. Including... [sic] ...Falco

....that is what you consider the major problem? That quite likely scenario? Not the various statements which cancel out other statements (wolf is playable... wolf, ridley, medusa, k rool are bosses... of those, only ridley is playable), not the ridiculousness of being forced to not play SE until you unlock the right character, but the fact that Falco is removed makes it automatically fake.

...this no update week has reduced all of our IQs, I swear.

[Spud]

dancesinunderwear said:

spud said:

Eh.. Mostly this guys saying things we already suspect, one major flaw

Krystal is in....some characters from Melee will be removed. Including... [sic] ...Falco

....that is what you consider the major problem? That quite likely scenario? Not the various statements which cancel out other statements (wolf is playable... wolf, ridley, medusa, k rool are bosses... of those, only ridley is playable), not the ridiculousness of being forced to not play SE until you unlock the right character, but the fact that Falco is removed makes it automatically fake.

...this no update week has reduced all of our IQs, I swear.

My apoligies, I didn't take a very long time to read over it.
I'm just tired of this crap nonsense I've got a source. Every fucking idiot and their uncle has a source. It's Driving me insane!

[Dances in Undergarments]

You and me both, man, you and me both.

[Snuka7]

He sent me another e-mail what should I do? Here is is:

Hi again,
Here is some new info you might like. Captain Falcon is back. He is back as an unlockable. His Final Smash is quite intense. He stands in the middle of the stage while taunting and at the same time all different F-Zero machines come from both sides of the screen and hurt whoever is in their way. Onix returns in a pokeball doing the same move as in Super Smash Bros. 64. Another Assist Trophy is Peppy Hare, Slippy Toad and Falco that come down in their Arwings and shoot at your opponents.
Please reply and I will answer more questions.

I hadn't even relpied. Because you guys told me not do. What should I do?

PS:And I like your new name, Breakdances In Underwear!

[Deleted]

Did Mystery McEnigmabutt also offer you free penis enlargements?

Wait, no - wrong sleazy internet troll typecast. Hang on, lemme try that again.

Did Conondrum Van Parabolaballs remind you suspiciously of a person you know from a forum/chat room/IM service that you know you have pissed off, and yet denies being said person, instead claiming that he "has heard of said person," or is "related to said person?" 'Cause that's the kind of person this person is making himself out to sound like. Not like any of his proposed situations are really hard to imagine (if not roughshod in construction), just that he had my red flags up at "You are probably wondering why I have chosen you."

MODiFY: (because my EDiT button is broked) Don't respond to the guy...he's looking to get someone to buy into his load of junk, is all.

[Snuka7]

What if this guy spams my inbox? What do I do? I already got two e-mails. What if he sends me heaps?

[wanderingshadow]

I agree. Just because Professor Earl VonStraussenburger says that he knows these things doesn't mean he does. It's just another variation of "My uncle works at Nintendo and he told me..." The guy probably got your e-mail at a forum.

I suggest that you respond with sarcasm. Ask him stuff like if he's heard whether Brawl is getting ported to the new WiiStation 2000 or if BattleToads is going to be in it.

[Snuka7]

wanderingshadow said:

I agree. Just because Professor Earl VonStraussenburger says that he knows these things doesn't mean he does. It's just another variation of "My uncle works at Nintendo and he told me..." The guy probably got your e-mail at a forum.

I suggest that you respond with sarcasm. Ask him stuff like if he's heard whether Brawl is getting ported to the new WiiStation 2000 or if BattleToads is going to be in it.

Will do, I'll send it now.

[Da Robot]

If it's not to late, get him to send a (new) picture of something in the game.

[NinjaRygar]

Snuka, how do you think he got your Email? Do you frequent other boards besides this one?

[Deleted]

You guys.

Snuka's email is available in his profile from the board. Our mystery insider could be using that information just as well as they could be from any other MB.

My advice still stands: leave this would-be informant alone so you don't make 'em feel important. But nobody listens when I try to teach the MB's n00bs to not be n00bs, do they?

[Spud]

snuka7 said:

He sent me another e-mail what should I do?

Set up a filter against his E-mail address, And stop posting his Nonsense!