Post by mrmolecule on Feb 28, 2007 17:38:52 GMT -5
Lots of SNES games have gotten bashed on how bad they are. So, one day, I sat down at the computer, loaded up some games, swallowed my pride, and tested them all.
The first victim was Bebe's Kids. Even though I had tried it before, it was just awful, it didn't make sense, for one, it just starts out with "Welcome to Funworld. Enjoy your stay", then goes into a ho-hum fighter with terrible music and more terrible controls. If you didn't mash enough buttons, a thug lifts you up, lets time run out and give a terrible one-liner. There wasn't even a great "GAME OVER" when you die.
The next thing I tried was the diabetes-centric Captain Novolin, with a slightly catchy but very flat (musically, as opposed to sharp), theme song. So get this, a superhero with diabetes fights aliens disguised as sugary junk foods, to rescue a mayor (who also happens to have diabetes). But wait! Not only that, every time you lose a life, (and before you begin), you have to choose how much insulin you should use before beginning a day. Then, when you actually get a chance to play, this donut comes rolling after you, and no matter what I do, it's impossible not to get hit. Hmm...I jumped, I mashed buttons...
But wait! The way you're supposed to do it is jump and press down? And time it perfectly? More surprisingly, is our superhero does not have any moves for punching or kicking. How pathetic. If you think wearing tights make you a superhero, I suggest you seek help.
(edit: Bubsy removed)
After that, I tried Shaq Fu. So, Shaq is downtown, killing time, walks into a dojo for some strange reason, gets transported to another universe, must battle weird fighters with weirder controls, and all wrapped up by lame one-liners. ("I just schooled you, pops!").
That and shameless Pepsi plugs.
(Why couldn't they make a basketball game...)
Penultimately, I played Home Improvement. Another case of a license gone sour, instead of focusing on clever minigames or actually finishing off a house, or getting the most powerful parts, Tim and Al are on "Tool Time", Tim is proud of a new tool line named after him, then finds out they've been stolen and he must go to different studios to find the tools, filming different things. So, the game begins with him fighting dinosaurs. I kid you not.
There have been a lot of bad SNES 3rd Party games.
Thought I was done? I've got one more....it's not Super Noah's Ark 3D, it's....
HOME ALONE
I won't elaborate on this one. Bad controls for one. Then, so I'm controlling Kevin in his home, and there are five or six no name bad guys wearing hats. I thought there was only 2. And once you get hit, there's an awful sound recording of Kevin screaming. It sounded bad on film, it sounds even worse on SNES.
Please discuss.
COMING SOON: NES titles!
The first victim was Bebe's Kids. Even though I had tried it before, it was just awful, it didn't make sense, for one, it just starts out with "Welcome to Funworld. Enjoy your stay", then goes into a ho-hum fighter with terrible music and more terrible controls. If you didn't mash enough buttons, a thug lifts you up, lets time run out and give a terrible one-liner. There wasn't even a great "GAME OVER" when you die.
The next thing I tried was the diabetes-centric Captain Novolin, with a slightly catchy but very flat (musically, as opposed to sharp), theme song. So get this, a superhero with diabetes fights aliens disguised as sugary junk foods, to rescue a mayor (who also happens to have diabetes). But wait! Not only that, every time you lose a life, (and before you begin), you have to choose how much insulin you should use before beginning a day. Then, when you actually get a chance to play, this donut comes rolling after you, and no matter what I do, it's impossible not to get hit. Hmm...I jumped, I mashed buttons...
But wait! The way you're supposed to do it is jump and press down? And time it perfectly? More surprisingly, is our superhero does not have any moves for punching or kicking. How pathetic. If you think wearing tights make you a superhero, I suggest you seek help.
(edit: Bubsy removed)
After that, I tried Shaq Fu. So, Shaq is downtown, killing time, walks into a dojo for some strange reason, gets transported to another universe, must battle weird fighters with weirder controls, and all wrapped up by lame one-liners. ("I just schooled you, pops!").
That and shameless Pepsi plugs.
(Why couldn't they make a basketball game...)
Penultimately, I played Home Improvement. Another case of a license gone sour, instead of focusing on clever minigames or actually finishing off a house, or getting the most powerful parts, Tim and Al are on "Tool Time", Tim is proud of a new tool line named after him, then finds out they've been stolen and he must go to different studios to find the tools, filming different things. So, the game begins with him fighting dinosaurs. I kid you not.
There have been a lot of bad SNES 3rd Party games.
Thought I was done? I've got one more....it's not Super Noah's Ark 3D, it's....
HOME ALONE
I won't elaborate on this one. Bad controls for one. Then, so I'm controlling Kevin in his home, and there are five or six no name bad guys wearing hats. I thought there was only 2. And once you get hit, there's an awful sound recording of Kevin screaming. It sounded bad on film, it sounds even worse on SNES.
Please discuss.
COMING SOON: NES titles!