Least favourite games on each console

[nocturnal YL]

Happy 40th birthday, Famicom! I can't think of anything Famicom-related to talk about, though.

This topic is inspired by the recent posts between Nester and me that tries to rank various games. I thought it'd be interesting if instead of our favourite games, we talk about our least favourite.

Finding out least favourites isn't easy if I'm simply going through all games on each system. After all, if it's something I knew I wouldn't like, I wouldn't have bothered to get it, right? For the purpose of this list, I'll count games that I've played a significant portion of (about 20% of what the game offers).

Game Boy
Well, it's Game Boy Gallery, published by Nintendo of Europe. Uninspired, botched down versions of Game & Watch games that soon got eclipsed by the much better Game & Watch Gallery series.

SNES
Wario's Woods. Unlike in puzzle games where you control the pieces or a cursor, In Wario's Woods we have Toad, whose has very specific rules on what he can and cannot do. Mix this with the general fast pace of the game, and we have my least favourite action puzzle game, putting it far below the likes of Puzzle League, Puyo Puyo, Tetris and Puzzle Bobble.

Nintendo 64
This may sound surprising, but it's Bomberman 64 (Baku Bomberman), at least at the time. There was no indication that it's actually a puzzle game that revolves around navigating 3D space with the absence of a jump button, so when I played it as a kid, I approached it like an action game and got stuck as early as Green Garden stage 1-3. At least the battle mode is unique.

I have seen worse N64 games, but I haven't made much progress in those so they don't count for this list.

Game Boy Advance
Yoshi's Topsy-Turvy. Just what kind of physics is that?

GameCube
The loser is… Star Fox Adventures. It looks great, but the gameplay is rather confusing, like they're putting multiple ideas together in one game without much cohesion. The ending is the weirdest thing of them all. Also, it's not possible to have a 100% save since the ending itself counts towards the percentage, and there's no post-game save.

Nintendo DS
It's Yoshi's Island DS. Two Artoon games made it to this list. Wonderful. Its use of two screens makes the middle portion of the screen invisible, leading to a lot of cases where I have to look upwards. And the screen scrolling is awful. And it's still Yoshi's Island, so it's incredibly difficult. The Yoshi's Island series has a lot of exploration to do, and the two-screen layout is hugely detrimental.

Wii
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. I think this is more of my own problem, since the reason I don't like it is that it's too difficult. I was stuck at the Gandrayda fight as she was too fast for me to handle, which ultimately leads to me giving up halfway into the game.

Nintendo 3DS
This one's easy. Sayonara Umihara Kawase. Umihara Kawase is a series of 2D wire action games that's difficult to play, but feels satisfying when executed correctly. It didn't leave me a good first impression, with its UI looking like it's made by some first-time amateur programmer with very little design experience, and an instant-save death count constantly reminding me how badly do I fail at playing it.

Wii U
This one's tough. While most Wii U games don't really stand out, there are no bad Wii U games either. (Within my collection, that is.) I'd have said Star Fox Guard, but the last few days I've been taking gameplay videos of it, and I realised that I could move and turn cameras quickly on the touch screen not just at the preparation stage, but also during gameplay. It (and Star Fox Zero) turned out to be better than I remembered. I don't know if that means Super Mario Maker will replace it as my least favourite. But eihter way, even my least favourite isn't bad at all. Well done, Wii U.

Nintendo Switch
There's one game that I played a significant portion of, but isn't listed in my rankings as of this post. And that game is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. I didn't list it because 50 hours in, I don't think I've played enough to really warrant the harsh criticism I have for it, but it'd have scored about 28 on that scale from what I have played. Long story short, a creepy survival game where one moment I'm enjoying some peace at the pools of the Zoras and the next moment creepy reverse music plays and hey, it's a blood moon! …isn't my kind of game at all.

It's like unlocking the final Chozo Memory in Metroid: Samus Returns, except that it's Metroid, so I'm more prepared for horror there.

It's also very high-difficulty in general. Maybe I'm not playing it right, but if I have 17 hearts and enemies have attacks that take out half of that at once, I think that should warrant an easy mode.

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Extra: systems where I have only played a few games on. My least favourite on these may not be so bad, and is more of an artefact on how I haven't played much on these systems.

NES
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. Two temples is as far as I could go without save states.

Genesis
Rambo III. Incredibly tedious and slow-paced if I am to play in a safe manner. And I have to, since I lose easily otherwise.

Saturn
Saturn Bomberman Fight. A completely different game from Saturn Bomberman, and it's an arena fighting game. It's actually quite fun, but the cutscenes are slow and the control is somewhat confusing. Good for some silly fun, though.

Dreamcast
The House of the Dead. You either play with a light gun or use a controller to move the reticle slowly. Either way, it was rather difficult, at least back when I played it. The corny performance is actually quite funny in its own way. Also, like Wii U, it's not so much that it's a bad game and more so that everything I tried on this system is at least decent.

PlayStation 4
Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA X HD. It's an excellent game, but I've only played two games on PS4 so far (I'll play Warriors All-Stars later). It'll probably be dethroned if I actually bothered to play those free games I got back at the Play at Home initiative.

[Nester the Lark]

This was a challenging list to make because I prefer to focus on the positive side of gaming. Also, I tend to avoid playing games I don’t think I’ll enjoy, so I don’t have very many “bad” games in my collection. Even then, I still hesitate to call any of these games outright “bad.” Either they’re simply weaker than other games, have specific issues, are in a genre I don’t personally care for, or had good ideas but weren’t able to fully realize them.

I tried to stick to games that I feel like I have a firm opinion of. Also, these are all consoles I own, plus two extra “bonus” platforms at the end.

NES – Metal Gear

Disregarding the popular opinion that this is considered a poor version of Metal Gear, I’m just not a fan of stealth games in general.

Game Boy – Battleship

I don’t remember why I even own this game. I did finish it, though (which, iirc, required beating 40 stages), but it’s pretty boring.

Sega Genesis – Sonic 3D Blast

I wish I liked this game more than I did. It has some interesting things going for it, but it’s a little tedious, and the camera movement makes me a little motion sick after a while.

SNES – Jurassic Park

I think this was a birthday present. I can’t help but think there’s a good game in here somewhere, but it has some major issues holding it back. It combines an overhead view when outdoors with first-person shooter-style interiors. It’s technically impressive that it does it without the Super FX chip, but it’s also choppy and slow. (Also, you know how I feel about first-person shooters.) The main problem, though, is that it’s a rather long game without any kind of save function. (Interestingly, it’s being re-released as part of a Jurassic Park collection from Limited Run Games. According to the product page, it includes save states and other QoL features, so that version has potential to be pretty decent!)

Nintendo 64 – Mario Party 2

I got this game on the Wii Virtual Console, and it was only because I had some Club Nintendo points expiring. It’s obviously meant to be a multiplayer experience, but playing it by myself wasn’t much fun. I think I only played it twice.

Dreamcast – Sega Smash Pack Vol. 1

A compilation of 10 Sega Genesis games sounds appealing, but the emulation is horrible. There’s constant screen-tearing, and the audio is just plain awful. I prefer to think of this as the Dreamcast version of Virtua Cop 2, because it also includes a pretty good port of that (likely based on the Windows version), and that alone made it worth the $5 I probably paid for it.

Game Boy Advance – Advance Wars

Got this on Wii U Virtual Console when Club Nintendo was ending. I really like the presentation, but I always had a hard time getting into the gameplay. It seems so much more complicated than Fire Emblem.

GameCube – Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes

Again, stealth games are not my thing, and this may have been the game that really made me realize that. I don’t regret playing it, though, as it was still an interesting experience.

Nintendo DS – New Super Mario Bros.

This is a tricky choice. It’s certainly not a bad game by any stretch, but it’s just generally forgettable.

Wii – Deadly Creatures

This game is such a cool concept, but it’s extremely unfinished. Perhaps another year of development could’ve made it something special, but such a niche idea was never going to receive that kind of budget. As it is, it was released half-baked.

Wii U – Rodea: The Sky Soldier

This is specifically for the Wii U version. The original Wii version, which was included as a bonus, is actually pretty decent. The Wii U version, on the other hand, is just a port of the 3DS version, that in turn was mucked up by Kadokawa Games.

Switch – Blaster Master Zero 2

I really enjoyed the first Blaster Master Zero, but BMZ2 just missed the mark for me. Not terrible, but it ruined the things I liked about the original. As a result, I never tried the third.

Bonus Consoles:

I’m including these platforms simply because I feel like I’ve played a fair amount of games on them via re-releases on other consoles.

TurboGrafx-16/CD/Duo – Neutopia

This is definitely not a bad game, but it is a product of its time, and as such, is a little bland. Basically, the game is a Zelda clone, and by that, I mean a clone of the original Legend of Zelda. While it could be argued that it’s a more refined game, it also falls far short of where A Link to the Past would take the series. It was worth one playthrough, though.

Neo Geo – Super Sidekicks 3: The Next Glory

This was included in the SNK Arcade Classics collection on the Wii. It’s an arcade-style soccer/football game. While I do enjoy arcadey sports games, this didn’t hold my interest. Maybe it’s because I’m just an American that doesn’t understand real football.