Oh Nintendo! You and your number 8!

[The Qu]

May 27, 2010 23:17:55 GMT -5 Wildcat said:

Back to an older topic: Daisy + Vivian, natch?

Well, Vivian is !!!canoically!!! a trannie, so I don't know if that would work out or not. Maybe...?

[Shrikeswind]

No. Vivian would turn Daisy on up until she saw the piece Viv's totin'.

[kirbychu]

May 27, 2010 23:05:53 GMT -5 Shrikeswind said:

Whacked out Mario theory and an 8 at the same time.

Bowser has 8 kids. We have no idea who their mom is (in order to summon the stork in all stork stories, you must have both a mommy and a daddy. Apparently, they do some kind of baby dance. Real world, we all know the baby dance to be teh secks.) Who was Bowser's accompanying baby dancer? I speculate it was a pre-Superstar Saga Cackletta. Naturally, as the two end up fighting throughout Superstar Saga, there was some form of argument that drove the two apart, probably before Bowser Jr. could remember. Though this may seem farfetched, think about this: Bowser's dialogue when everyone first meets Cackletta gives no hint that he didn't know Cackletta (and even gave circumstantial evidence for having met her by how he proclaimed his rage, "You! You're the fiend who stole Princess Peach's voice! How dare you pull off such a cool evl plan?" which, due to the fact that the game uses text as opposed to voice, could imply recognition,) then throughout the game had no reason to remember who Cackletta was, being the amnesiac sidekick of Popple. He then never meets Cackletta again, due to his unconciousness when Popple put her spirit in his body. When Bowletta took over Bowser's Fortress, the Koopalings had no qualms with the allegience change, which may mean that they simply can't tell their father from Bowletta (unlikely,) or that they don't have any animosity to Cackletta, who could have used some form of lie to make sure the Koopalings don't know she was really still battling against everything Bowser was trying to prevent (if only so that he may kidnap Peach himself.) Why the baby dance didn't summon Koopa/Bean witch mutant bastard spawn may simply be due to the fact that Cackletta simply didn't contribute many genes into the wire.

Now, as for Morton being Jr., he may actually be adopted, possibly from within Bowser's own family after, perhaps, his real father dying, being rendered inable to care for his kids, or legally deemed as an unfit father after testimony probably delivered from Morton Jr. himself.

That was a joke theory, right?

I hope so, 'cause it was hilarious.

[Wildcat]

Secret: Vivian's "piece" is detactable - that's why she was a tranny in the Japanese version and a girl in the NA version. Therefore, s/he's obviously a hermaphrodite. Making her ideal for Daisy whatever her mood.

[Manspeed]

I maintain that Goombella was mistaken when she told Mario Vivian was a boy. She actually meant to say Marilyn. I mean, just look at her.

[Shrikeswind]

May 28, 2010 2:54:47 GMT -5 kirbychu said:

May 27, 2010 23:05:53 GMT -5 Shrikeswind said:

Whacked out Mario theory and an 8 at the same time.

Bowser has 8 kids. We have no idea who their mom is (in order to summon the stork in all stork stories, you must have both a mommy and a daddy. Apparently, they do some kind of baby dance. Real world, we all know the baby dance to be teh secks.) Who was Bowser's accompanying baby dancer? I speculate it was a pre-Superstar Saga Cackletta. Naturally, as the two end up fighting throughout Superstar Saga, there was some form of argument that drove the two apart, probably before Bowser Jr. could remember. Though this may seem farfetched, think about this: Bowser's dialogue when everyone first meets Cackletta gives no hint that he didn't know Cackletta (and even gave circumstantial evidence for having met her by how he proclaimed his rage, "You! You're the fiend who stole Princess Peach's voice! How dare you pull off such a cool evl plan?" which, due to the fact that the game uses text as opposed to voice, could imply recognition,) then throughout the game had no reason to remember who Cackletta was, being the amnesiac sidekick of Popple. He then never meets Cackletta again, due to his unconciousness when Popple put her spirit in his body. When Bowletta took over Bowser's Fortress, the Koopalings had no qualms with the allegience change, which may mean that they simply can't tell their father from Bowletta (unlikely,) or that they don't have any animosity to Cackletta, who could have used some form of lie to make sure the Koopalings don't know she was really still battling against everything Bowser was trying to prevent (if only so that he may kidnap Peach himself.) Why the baby dance didn't summon Koopa/Bean witch mutant bastard spawn may simply be due to the fact that Cackletta simply didn't contribute many genes into the wire.

Now, as for Morton being Jr., he may actually be adopted, possibly from within Bowser's own family after, perhaps, his real father dying, being rendered inable to care for his kids, or legally deemed as an unfit father after testimony probably delivered from Morton Jr. himself.

That was a joke theory, right?

I hope so, 'cause it was hilarious.

Indeed, it was a joke theory, but with some important points.

• The Koopalings must have a mother to exist, even with the stork.
  
• We may have actually met their mother without knowing so.
  
• Why would the Koopalings change allegience to the invader of their father's castle? This is from the fact that Bowletta does not particularly look like Bowser.
  
• There was a degree of rationality intended with Morton's relationship to Bowser. It was still only to be taken half-seriously, but there was a degree of rationality behind it.
  

[kirbychu]

Though, given the fact that the Koopalings aren't Bowser's kids, none of that matters at all.

[Fryguy64]

Yep, we have covered this in great detail elsewhere - that Bowser's parental relationship to the Koopa Kids was added by the American localisers and has been systematically removed from subsequent appearances - they're just 7 henchmen of Bowser.

However, Bowser Jr. must have a mother somewhere.

[kirbychu]

Bowser Jr. is a little chubbier than his father was as a baby. His mother must therefore be Queen Bean.

[Manspeed]

Nah that can't be. He lacks her massive rows of teeth.

If Bowser Jr. has a mother she's either dead or divorced Bowser. I mean if you decided to become an evil villain, your wife would divorce you, right?

[kirbychu]

May 29, 2010 11:28:37 GMT -5 Manspeed said:

I mean if you decided to become an evil villain, your wife would divorce you, right?

I don't know why, but I find this sentence hilarious. I would buy a shirt that had that written on it.

[Fryguy64]

It's kinda true though! How many sexually and emotionally well-adjusted supervillains are there out there? They usually have some sexual deviancy.

Maybe Nuclear Man has a Nuclear Family...

[Manspeed]

Well as far as I can tell, Bowser is too dim/immature to know anything about sex, since his crush on Peach comes off as schoolboy level.

If anything, his previous wife divorced him over some sort of trivial reason. Maybe it was because he kept neglecting her in favor of coming up with new world-conquering strategies. Married to his job, so to speak.

[Fryguy64]

Just to puncture the naivety here, but why is it you jumped straight to the conclusion that in order to have a child, Bowser - a giant, monstrous, hairy, fire-breathing turtle with plans for world domination - would have to undergo some kind of civil ceremony to be bound to a wife?

I mean, he's a turtle. Maybe he just popped down to the beach and fertilized some Koopa eggs or something. Picture it!

[kirbychu]

I'm not sure babies even need parents at all in the Mario universe. Wasn't baby Wario just delivered to a big pile of treasure in Yoshi's Island DS?